A Naked Girl Can Hide Anything

I am a good, trustworthy, honest and hard working employee. But it just so happens that being a good actress comes with having a vagina. I didn't ask for the gift.....so don't be jealous. For the past couple weeks it *may* be possible that I have been plotting my escape from work.......at work. Shhhh don't tell anyone.

As I sit in my unsupervised cubicle I search tripadvisor for hours looking for the perfect place to spend a week (and by perfect place, don't be mistaken, I mean that I try to find the cheapest place that isnt a hell hole, where the only souvineer I can bring back for friends and family is the bird flu or some version of TB that will most likely wipe out half of the worlds population). Outlook for me, is like a half naked girl on a Coors poster for prison inmates. It hides my escape route. When people walk by, I bring my outlook screen up, as if to say....Me planning a trip? NEVER! And if I were, I would do it on my own time at home. Thank you very much. After hours of searching I have managed to come up with the perfect place, and the perfect itinerary, and for those of you who need to escape I thought I would share it with you, because yes, it is, just that good.

Friday-Leave (In all actuality we leave at an unspeakable hour Saturday morning, but I would like to put off thinking about that)
Saturday – Arrive in San Jose at 9 am, Leave for Fortuna via private transfer (we are fancy like that), get there..whenever we feel like it. Bite me, and we will do some hiking and picture taking!
Sunday-Spend day Hiking, Jungle tour, somehow see monkies, a waterfall, eat some delicious fruit and butterflies
Monday-Zipline i.e. crap my pants over the canopy
Tuesday-Leave at an ungodly hour to venture over to the Caribbean coast to a sloth rehab/sanctuary and visit a few of the beauties.
Wednsday- Head down south ~25k to beach it up
Thursday –Spend the moring in denial, trying to not admit to ourselves that in mere hours we will be on our way back to reality.

A few things I would like to point out that I did not realize when I was writting THAT down. First of all, I wrote this for my huband who has a hard time understanding how 7days and 6 nights is even possible, it blows his mind. Second, Yes, I do write with random capital letters, in random places, its a side effect of my crazy. Third. No, I do not plan of eating butterflies, har har har, yes it is funny that I accidently wrote that I would like to eat some delicious fruit and butterflies...but No, I am not a monster I do not wish to dine on such beautiful creatures, in fact, I think you are a monster for even thinking someone might do such a thing. Fourth, yes, I will crap my pants on a zipline and yes, I will enjoy it.