Metorite of the space poop variety.

My husband, *sigh* ooohhhhhh my sweet, sweet, husband.

Ever since we were dating he had been holding on to this circular piece of, well, I am not quite sure what it is, but he claims it is a meteorite, I claim bullshit. Quite literally to. It looks like a giant piece of fecal matter. I know that isn't glamorous to say that, but really that is what it looks like. So, in an effort to be fair, I am going to give you my husbands argument for why he believes he owns something more rare than gold, maybe he can convince you guys because his claims fall on deaf ears with me.

His story:
He was out in the desert riding dirt bikes with his family, by the Salton Sea. His bike broke down and as his uncle and father tried to fix it, he was left to wander the desert. Which is where he happened upon his lovely specimen. It caught his eye because of the shape, and thankfully it was resting on top of a rock (because, you know, meteorites are thoughtful upon impact and like to make it easy for you to find them) and the rest is history!

My story:
I don't need a story, I have pictures on my side, and here they are. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE MOST MAGNIFICANT PIECE OF SPACE POO EVER!

Top


Bottom


Side


Relative size (Yes I know I have stubby fingers, thanks for bringing it up. Jerk.)


Like I said, space poo. Do I need more evidence?

Oh my goodness!

I have been doing nothing but cooking for the past two days. What have I been up to in the kitchen? Well......

I had to remake those caramel things the cat decided to ruin yesterday, which, funny thing, turns out a candy thermometer is necessary for making candy, go figure. So, those delicious sounding caramel things? Yeah, they were pretty much ruined, the taste was good, but the caramel was over cooked and a little more tough than pretty much anyone in their right mind would want. Another thing I learned? If you dip anything in chocolate, you can make it look pretty.

Case in point.


I am thinking about doing the same thing to my face the next time makeup isn't working. I get the feeling people would like me better. In reality I might just attract bitchy women, but who doesn't like those?

The other things made in my kitchen over the past two days were not as exciting (relative, excitement is relative here.) as cat paw caramel. Just some butterscotch oatmeal cookies, chocolate dipped pretzels and peanut clusters. I am testing them out for small Christmas gifts.

SO WATCH OUT FAMILY. YOU MAY BE GETTING.....
Never mind, you will just have to wait and see.

Oh! I need you to do something for me. First, I need you to take all your desktop icons and move them to the left. I can wait.....

Alright, good job, now I need you to click here. Now, you see that picture, right click on it, and choose to "set as desktop background". Trust me, you will thank me later. That tounge can brighten up your darkest day. I promise you. It cures cancer and feeds the homeless.

I promise.

Stop rolling your eyes and just go do it. I dare you.

Unamused, so very, very unamused.

Alright, we have already established the fact that I am adorable*. This adorableness carries over to all aspects of my life. I am sorry, but it is true. Sometimes this adorableness even makes me do things that no sane human would do on a whim. For example, today I got the urge to make chocolate dipped caramallows. A nice labor intensive project for Tuesday. This entails, a layer of handmade caramel, then handmade marshmallow, then another layer of the caramel, letting it sit for 8 hours and hand dipping them in chocolate.

So, I finish one layer of caramel, I spread it in the pan, and after two attempts I get the marshmallow mixture right, I spread it on top of the caramel layer and just as I am finishing....

....I see it. A German Shepard, trying to cross the road. He almost gets hit by a car so I venture out to check his tag in an attempt to return him to his home and, as I make friends with the dog and start to check for a tag (there was none), I hear it.

IT!

Our fat cat freaking stepped in my caramel/marshmallow mixture, I knew it before I even got back inside. Then, when I do get inside, I see it.

IT!

There are marshmallow paw prints EVERYWHERE, no really, they are seriously everywhere. On the window, on the table, on the chairs, in the carpet. WHAT. THE. HELL? Have you ever tried giving a cat covered in marshmallow a bath? HAVE YOU?!? I am pretty sure it is as close to hell as you can get with out actually taking the elevator down. Ugh, I am scarred for life. At least the paw prints came up with a little bit of elbow grease.

Gah! I have to go, I have more caramel to make, but for your viewing pleasure, here is the culprit, when she is pretending not to be the devil.


*This statement may or may not be factual. Try to get over it.